Ask Shaden & Titi

Confessions of a Jordanian Girl with an Expiry Date – Part 1

Posted in Men by Shaden and Titi on September 3, 2010

Titi: I am a Jordanian 24 year old girl, living in Amman, haven’t realized until lately that no matter how big or small a girl’s dreams are, all paths have got to lead to the same point…they always do, which is finding a good husband.

Nothing ever makes any sense when it comes to a girl’s achievement, she works hard, earns her living and at some point life seems to be smiling for her. At times she could be faced with harsh realities, such as interrogation about how she dresses, or how she wears make-up, what times she goes out, with whom and to what place, and a series of never-ending question.

Shaden: regression…

Titi: Of course, a girl can always find her way through reconciliation, between her choices, and whatever the social stupid norm stipulates, with that she can earn herself what??

Shaden: socially-forced regression, to a cave man’s daughter and soon to be wife…

Titi: So how life looks like before a husband? And what are the speculations of getting married to one?

Shaden: It looks like a series of unfortunate events, like lemony Sniket is smiling down upon you forcing you to submit to your pre-designated life, but the question is, are u going to believe it?

Titi: that’s the tricky part…to them you’re dreaming, if you have dreams that goes beyond having a husband, then you are probably hallucinating. A husband by all means has all the answers, and he is your savior, if God resides in heavens a husband is resides on earth.

the root problem is our gender biased societies. Why do they want us to get married? Because we’re women, we’re weak and vulnerable to immorality more than men, apparently. Because men are superior, kaman apparently. A woman who is not concerned with marriage is a woman who is trying to be a man!. How many times was I accused of acting like a man? Whether for not being “girly” enough in my attitude towards people and life or for making a life choice of being a career oriented woman.

Shaden: it seems that being independent is equivalent to going against the norms and pissing off our beloved society. It is inappropriate for me as a girl to not be home after 9 PM, also inappropriate to travel alone because I need a protector, apparently, even if I really don’t, it disturbs them to think of why I don’t need one. Though shall not be independent, self-made!

Titi: She is going out…oh, she has got to be meeting someone, why is she coming late, there are no girls in this house who come back that later, what are the neighbors are going to say huh??? Wait where are you going, with whom, why didn’t you tell me you were going??? And hang on for a second; what about all the achievement I have been working for, they just have to stop at the threshold of a husband’s door?

Sheden: Even if you have no achievements at all, no one has the right to dictate your life just because you’re a woman; you are no less than anyone. A man is not god’s vice president!!

We don’t in any way oppose marriage, we just hate the way society seem to make it look like, while in the time a husband should be a solace for a women and vice-versa, societies should never demean women of being single, or even divorced, which is something will tackle sometime later on

To be continued …

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