Ask Shaden & Titi

Confessions of a Jordanian Girl with an Expiry Date – Part 1

Posted in Men by Shaden and Titi on September 3, 2010

Titi: I am a Jordanian 24 year old girl, living in Amman, haven’t realized until lately that no matter how big or small a girl’s dreams are, all paths have got to lead to the same point…they always do, which is finding a good husband.

Nothing ever makes any sense when it comes to a girl’s achievement, she works hard, earns her living and at some point life seems to be smiling for her. At times she could be faced with harsh realities, such as interrogation about how she dresses, or how she wears make-up, what times she goes out, with whom and to what place, and a series of never-ending question.

Shaden: regression…

Titi: Of course, a girl can always find her way through reconciliation, between her choices, and whatever the social stupid norm stipulates, with that she can earn herself what??

Shaden: socially-forced regression, to a cave man’s daughter and soon to be wife…

Titi: So how life looks like before a husband? And what are the speculations of getting married to one?

Shaden: It looks like a series of unfortunate events, like lemony Sniket is smiling down upon you forcing you to submit to your pre-designated life, but the question is, are u going to believe it?

Titi: that’s the tricky part…to them you’re dreaming, if you have dreams that goes beyond having a husband, then you are probably hallucinating. A husband by all means has all the answers, and he is your savior, if God resides in heavens a husband is resides on earth.

the root problem is our gender biased societies. Why do they want us to get married? Because we’re women, we’re weak and vulnerable to immorality more than men, apparently. Because men are superior, kaman apparently. A woman who is not concerned with marriage is a woman who is trying to be a man!. How many times was I accused of acting like a man? Whether for not being “girly” enough in my attitude towards people and life or for making a life choice of being a career oriented woman.

Shaden: it seems that being independent is equivalent to going against the norms and pissing off our beloved society. It is inappropriate for me as a girl to not be home after 9 PM, also inappropriate to travel alone because I need a protector, apparently, even if I really don’t, it disturbs them to think of why I don’t need one. Though shall not be independent, self-made!

Titi: She is going out…oh, she has got to be meeting someone, why is she coming late, there are no girls in this house who come back that later, what are the neighbors are going to say huh??? Wait where are you going, with whom, why didn’t you tell me you were going??? And hang on for a second; what about all the achievement I have been working for, they just have to stop at the threshold of a husband’s door?

Sheden: Even if you have no achievements at all, no one has the right to dictate your life just because you’re a woman; you are no less than anyone. A man is not god’s vice president!!

We don’t in any way oppose marriage, we just hate the way society seem to make it look like, while in the time a husband should be a solace for a women and vice-versa, societies should never demean women of being single, or even divorced, which is something will tackle sometime later on

To be continued …

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11 Responses

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  1. hamdanism said, on September 4, 2010 at 9:38 am

    Brilliant post ! keep it up girls…I’m a man but I see your frustration, It’s so unfair !!!

    • TitiandShad said, on September 6, 2010 at 12:54 pm

      Thank you 🙂 we appreciate the support from males, since some thought we are feminists :).

  2. nasrawi said, on September 4, 2010 at 9:59 am

    good piece…

    the other day after 3e9am (from bab al-7ara akeed) took his third wife, my mother in law goes, “atleast back in the day women were not left lonely spinsters! oh the good old days….!”

    min il-urdun ila filas6een!!

    • TitiandShad said, on September 6, 2010 at 1:00 pm

      Well I have got to say that back then they thought a man should be doing the thinking for the woman, I say now things have changed quite dramatically but women still seem to face obstacles, living by their means and reconciling with social norms without having to lose their pride and dignity between both.

      Thanks for your participation we appreciate it 🙂

  3. Salim said, on September 10, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    I thought this would be about: How to get a Jordanian guy hooked (lets not use the getting into his pants wording 😀 )

    Jordanian girls want the rich guy,whose family are cool,dresses nice,take them to nice places.If anything different,they’ll frown,say you are a weirdo,not cool,etc

    I call for all Jordanian guys to marry foreign women,less drama and mental issues

    • TitiandShad said, on September 10, 2010 at 7:08 pm

      You mean to say Jordanian guys have something that other guys don’t seem to possess ???

      We are really glad that guys are responding to these posts which actually makes us more in to speaking out loud what is that Jordanian guys and girls have to say to each other 🙂

      But Salim I kind of disagree on the the second statement, not all girls seek all of what you have said, and foreign women are women and they still have needs, different may they be but they also have needs, meaning for everything there is a price 🙂

      maybe then Jordanian women should go regional or international and seek guys who appreciate the women who dont go out looking for money and glamour 😉
      Thanks for the comment though, we appreciate it

  4. Salim said, on September 10, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    I said these last comments just to provoke things and start a conversation going on
    Generalizing is very dumb,of course not all Jordanian girls are gold-diggers,not all foreign women are perfect.

    Now that I’ve blown my cover,lets talk seriously and rationally: What do women want ;D ??

    Just a side note,apart from personal treats,such as strong character,confidence,caring,I find Jordanian girls smoking hot,just saying

    Maybe I should start my own blog,I happen to be experienced in this domain 😉

  5. Salim said, on September 30, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    you stopped blogging?

    more articles please, I want to date as many Jordanian girls as possible 😉

    give us the inside scoope

  6. Salim said, on September 30, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    Please understandable articles not just small chit chat because they are incomplete and distracting

    write an article on what you look for in a Jordanian guy
    His looks,attributes,his manners,education,money,family,being jelous ,etc

    also not the normal answer,I want a real man,confident,knows how to handle me,not too eastren and not too westren… no not like this

    write in details:WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE CONFIDENT?
    How to handle a Jordanian woman? How to be eastren and Westren

    Jordanian girls don’t know what they want,they just say general things,which they don’t apply,I don;t care about looks,money as far as he’s the one,but in reality,not true

    For men,it’s very simple.We want a lovely girl,pretty,loves my family,especially my mother,not a drama queen,smart,dresses nicely. That’s it.
    😀 Don’t hate the player, hate the game

  7. TitiandShad said, on October 8, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    We are sorry for taking so long in blogging, we promise it wont take as much next time, but things have been rather hard on the both of us lately but thank you Salim 🙂

  8. Walid said, on January 11, 2011 at 11:25 am

    It’s ridiculous how parents and society are pressuring girls to get married… I mean have any of the parents seen the recent divorce rates.
    Why is it that they keep on doing it. The numbers show the following:
    1) Marriage these days certainly does not mean forever.
    2) Parents would rather their daughters wind up abused a nd miserable all for the sake of “Mazaher”.
    3) Girls are getting married for all the wrong reasons.
    4) They parents are pimping their daughters to the highest bidders, for the sake of money, prestige, and/or a title, that’s the only explanation for a 23 year old marrying an old fart of 70! (anyone say Anna Nicole Smith)…
    5) It gives new meaning to the saying: “Love the things he can give if you can’t love him!”.

    And the list goes on….

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